Episode 73 – The Sands of Time by Sidney Sheldon
They’re a bunch of nuns on the run! He’s a… Basque terrorist! Sure! Whatever! There’s also a rich dying New York boss lady and a missing orphan, a secret society that runs all of Spain, several bullfights, at least two prison breaks, a Swiss bank account, and some sex murders! Look out, y’all, it’s The Sands of Time by Sidney Sheldon!
You heard us – we’re diving back into the Sidney Sheldon oeuvre! Fire up your meanest YouTube comments! Why do you care so much? Nobody knows! Why does Saudi Arabia love Sidney Sheldon so much? Why did everybody get so mad when we did that Bloodline episode, on a book we liked?! Nobody knows! Anyway, we did not like this one so get ready!
This has. Oh god, it’s impossible to list all the content warnings for this one. Sexual assault both in the past and present; gang rapes and assaults on minors theoretically consensual and otherwise. Cruelty to animals. Cruelty by animals! Racism! Terrorism! Fat shaming! If it bothers you, just assume it’s here and you’re probably right.
Oh hey guess what if you were thinking that a 1988 Sidney Sheldon book has some international covers you are totally correct! There are essentially three kids of covers for this book – the big swoopy typography covers with a flower or a bit of lace or something (SPAIN!), a Spanish lady (there are, like, a bunch of ladies in this BTW), or Something Else. To wit:
Portugal!
Indonesia again! Obviously this one is far superior!
Serbian!
Dutch! It evidently means “like butterflies in the night”! Why is she so… not exactly young? I don’t know!
THANK GOD FOR ROMANIA! This is amazing. No notes.
Russia – I mean, I guess it gets “ladies and Jesus”.
Turkey. “What’s this one about?” “Eh, something about sands and time.”
Brazil! I love it but.. like what does it have to do with….
