Episode 92 – Mistletoe and Holly by Janet Dailey

He’s Tagg, a Christmas-obsessed single dad! She’s Leslie, a woman immobilized by a broken leg who cannot escape the holiday! He would probably be okay except that he’s always “smirking” or “mocking” or whatevering his dialogue at her! For some reason his hair is very virile!

Warning: this book has intense levels of moppet. “My daddy will teach you to believe in Santa Claus!” which in another book would be hawwwt, okay, fine. There’s also some pretty pushy sexual manipulation, when she says she wants to stop and he tries to pressure her and then freezes her out when that doesn’t work. Ugh.

Also, I only just now realized that his name is Tagg as in “gift tag”. I’mma go back up on this nice quiet private mountain with my cute dog and sexy furry green boots and have a drink. Happy holidays, y’all.

Now that there’s a new crop of transcription widgets running around, we’re going to try offering these again. They’ll be at the bottom of the page and will not be perfect, particularly when it comes to differentiating speakers (I tried, none of the ones that “do that” actually do that and understand how we talk) but I hope they help – just please understand that they are very lightly edited, if at all.

Hey y’all, I’m Courtney and I’m Sara and this is Bodice Tipplers, the podcast where we read all the books we use to steal off our grandmother’s nightstands. And then we drink about it. On this episode we read Mistletoe and Holly by Janet Dailey. Christmas alert y’all, we got a Moppet. It’s like a Moppet level five. We got a Moppet who’s like, you don’t believe in Santa, daddy and I will teach you to believe in Santa. We got a poor woman with a broken leg.

He’s being forced to go do Christmas shit. Sara is big mad at this book. I hated this book so much y’all.

I didn’t mind it so much. But yeah, it’s that kind of thing. It’s like people keep dragging this woman out of her house and making her like do Christmas shit.

And I just don’t like it. She’s also mad about a divorce that happened between her parents. So there is like a bad divorce but not really. Yeah, it’s I mean like, you know, There’s really nothing wrong with this book.

Except that it’s badly written and and just leave this woman alone. Here we go. We don’t have all the time in the world for you to yell about us. Anyway, hey y’all. Hey y’all, we have to check out by 10 because we’re no this is going to come out in numbers. We said that we’re every big one that we’re doing we’re letting our people know that we use did it here.

No, the yeah, but the ones like these are the little one. This is still one of our week for our episodes. Okay, if you want to we can. Yeah, because like we’re trying to let them know that like we did work. I know I just didn’t like you know, I want them to think they’re fresh and not like you know, three months later that we record this and like stuck it into the bed. I don’t think they really care. Okay, up to you.

I was just saying out around there like let them know like what they paid for. Yes. Okay, I mean you can talk about it. Just you know, can we keep this argument in?

No.

Okay. So yes, we recorded this in late late late October early November because we are still on our at a still island retreat. So again, thank you for November. She’s going to kill me. Oh my God, y’all like I mean you know what it is very girls trip where you’re like okay, it’s day three. It’s time to go home because again, I didn’t know that I was like going on a trip with my mom all I got COVID. All right, you got COVID but like is that why you’ve complained about every like little buddy should lights and things like that. Okay, the lights. I it’s damn here. It’s not a that. So anyway, so anyway, we’ve done this is our second Janet Dailey.

We did Ride the Thunder before which we also did not like. Yes. This one Janet Dailey started her first book with came out 1976. She is, you know, world best selling. She sold over 320 million copies around the world in 19 different languages. The books is something interesting on the back cover says Janet Dailey is one of the five best selling living novelists with over 100 million of her books sold. And I tried to verify that or not verify that like we’ve gotten rid of so many reference books at my library and I was not going to go to an academic library. So but like, you know, she if she was and I see no reason to doubt it. She must have sold a bunch of copies but not best seller status of a bunch of books, which I think how a lot of these authors of course get there.

They write a ton of books and none of them are like Shogun, you know, like none of them do huge numbers, but they all do decent numbers. And so before you know it, you look around and she’s raked it all up. And this came out in 1982. If you like want to know when that was a claim. Yes. So she is per her website. She has dubbed America’s First Lady of romance.

I have some other choices. I mean, well, I guess that she married the president of romance. Maybe who is the president of romance?

There’s so many options. Clive Custler. Clive Custler.

Clive Custler. That must be it. Yeah. So this one that we’re doing is Mistletoe and Holly. Sara’s favorite.

The cover, the cover a 1985 covers. So they actually re-released this and I’m like, wow, the world is full of crappy Christmas and romance novels. And it’s got, it’s like super red, of course. It’s got this little, little oval inset of like a soap opera man kissing a soap opera woman in front of a Christmas tree. It looks a little lazy. So I want to know what the first like the original cover looked like. And I’d not look it up, but I bet it was more fun. You want to hear the back?

I do, obviously. Another magnificent romance from Janet Dailey, America’s best loveed storyteller. I love how you can just write anything on the back of your own books. I’m going to start doing that. It’s great. With one leg in a cast and a heart hardened by bitter holiday memories, all Leslie wanted for Christmas was a quiet and restful vacation at her aunt’s Vermont home. But that was before she met the new neighbor, tall, strong and virile Tagg Williams. That would be Tagg with two G’s. He’s short for Taggart.

Taggart! It’s hotter. Taggart is hotter. Melted by the warmth of his smile and the ardor of his embrace, Leslie found herself caught under Tagg’s romantic spell, but even as her passion mounted she knew she would have to choose between the ghost of her past and the sudden burning desire to give herself and her heart to Tagg forever.

Yeah, that’s great. See, it doesn’t warn you about a moppet. I don’t like kids in romance novels.

I want to know beforehand that there’s going to be. She does. I think that was the big part of it because I think like the kid like the kid is like badly written because she, you know, talks like she’s 25. But all right, so let’s jump into this. So we got our girl Leslie, who is driving from Manhattan to Vermont with her leg in a cast. So that’s kind of ill advised. But I mean, like many of us have done. I haven’t driven that far, but I drove around for several weeks with the cast.

And throughout the book is actually very realistic about what a pain in the fucking ass this cast is. Yeah, because she’s like, she’s driving. She finally gets to Vermont. She’s trying to get out of the car and there’s like she’s at her aunt’s house and next door is, you know, this man and his daughter playing outside with the flood and they come and help fully help her get out of the car.

Yeah, yeah, yeah. That are six and she’s very cute and her name is Holly because it’s a Christmas book. Yes, her name is Holly. They’re helping her get her crutches. Tag is getting her luggage, you know, being being.

You know, pretty useful thus far. Yes, I will. I will like a plus plus one if you’re going to like help a lady on crutches through a door. That’s great.

Awesome. No notes. It’s just that it gets downhill from here.

See, again, this is I just don’t have the energy to argue with you about it because we’ve been on a trip. So, you know, he gets her in and Holly is like, I’m Holly. Blah, blah, blah, blah. I love Christmas. Blah, blah, blah. You believe in Santa and she’s like, she’s like, no, but also she’s like, I don’t believe it.

But you know what? You don’t get to enforce your viewpoint on like a kid, you know, she tries to kind of dodge it. I don’t think she does. She’s ready to talk about how much she hates Christmas for the damn jump. She’s just like, I’m not a Christmas person.

No, she’s not even that. It’s like she’s going to have to have a rant and a rail about it and be like, they’re in her space. They’re just having a conversation.

And you know what? No, it’s her aunt’s space. Well, yeah. And the aunt is the one who allowed them in after they help bring her shit in. They are always popping in unannounced. Well, I mean, but also she is also inviting that you’ve got it like again. This is we can’t spend an hour and a half arguing about it. Anyway, it goes on.

And then like what happens continually is this moppet just like busta through the door and like, let’s do paper chains. Let’s do popcorn. Let’s cut down a Christmas tree.

Let’s like this and that’s that. And they don’t let her say no. That’s the thing I don’t like. See, I think they don’t the kid doesn’t, but he does give her space to say no about the Christmas tree. She kind of does not. He’s always now he does because of answer to everything that she says. Well, it’s like you.

So you kind of see what it’s like being with you. But I know you’re a tagger. Dogs led were a hold your ass around the country. That whatever that she was so into that. So they go, OK, they do go on this like tree adventure. And, you know, it’s kind of like, well, what, you know, she’s like, well, what am I going to do? And the ants like, well, you could ride a sled because the aunt is egging it on to. And so she gets on a sled where this this man like pulls her the daughter like two miles, then cuts down a tree, then pulls her again. And the daughter’s two miles and like that is a rip man. Well, we find out that he was a professional skier.

Yes. Like weirdly, like a close off about his. OK, I understand what you would necessarily always want to talk about your dead wife, which he has one of those. But he also won’t tell her what he does for a living, which is a little really evasive.

Yeah, you find out he’s a lawyer that he had been a professional skier for a long time. That’s how he met his now dead wife. Her name was Cindy. Cindy gave he and Cindy had been separated.

And by the time he finds out that Cindy or Cindy was pregnant, you know, he goes to Colorado where she is to try to read, you know, like work on things and she gives birth and then she dies afterwards of of complication. And he obviously doesn’t give a shit about that. So, you know, like, don’t worry about that. It’s nobody cares about Cindy.

I mean, but you know what? At least they spent a little bit more time on Cindy and her death. And then in that one book where the man like drove his family off of a cliff on a trailer. That was a Christmas book I liked, The Humbug Man. I liked that one. I was like, wait, do I always hate the Christmas books? No, I liked that one.

Yeah. But I mean, he drove his whole fucking family off a cliff. And they were like, oh, that sucks.

But like in this one, in this one, at least, like there are some repercussions. And you can see why Cindy or not, Cindy Holly keeps going over there eventually because she’s looking for a mommy. She lies to one of her friends at like a Christmas pageant and says that Leslie is her mom. So you can tell, like, at least we have some kind of like emotional fallout from the death, the terrible death of like a female parent, you know. So we at least have that in this versus the one where a man drove his family off of a cliff.

Well, he felt bad about it. Oh, my God. So they’re doing all this Christmas stuff, you know, tags, hands are too big and virile to thread popcorn. So she goes over there and does that and she’s enjoying it because we should say why she doesn’t like Christmas.

No, so her parents got divorced when she was a kid after an acrimonious marriage, which I get that is traumatic. Fair enough. Fair enough.

I mean, it’s one of those eighties books where they act like divorce is like this. Like what’s your trauma? Oh, everybody I ever knew died of cancer. I drove my family off of a cliff. But you travel.

Oh, my mom and dad, my dad lives in Hawaii. And like after she. But here’s the other thing is like when she gets hurt, her parents obviously love her and care about her because, you know, the mom drives up and wants to bring her home to Baltimore.

The dad had sent her tickets like to come to Hawaii. And yes, like I understand the like they’re playing each other at each other. I get it. But at the same time, it’s not like they’ve like it’s not like dad went and got a new family and completely shut her out or cut her off.

So I’m just saying it could be worse. But I mean, that’s why she hates Christmas is that Christmas is where fairy acrimonious when she was a kid, which OK, that is a fair reason. It’s just that this is one of those books where they act like, you know, divorce is like a thing that’s just been invented or something, you know? Yeah, like Susie’s mommy works. You know, but, you know, Janet Dailey, she’s known for her courageous character. She’s the first lady of romance. Why don’t you call yourself the president of romance?

Like, why would you call yourself the first lady of romance? Oh, no. Dream big, bitch.

I know. Or the queen or like, you know, something. I’m the nation’s hostess of romance. I don’t I don’t get it.

But so, you know, they’re doing all these things. Tagg makes homemade hot chocolate. And she can’t believe he can cook because like she’s never encountered the concept of a single dad. Yeah, like just not even the very idea that he does not occur to her.

Yeah, yeah. And like she ends up kind of. But she’s always doing things like walking into town on her, you know, her. Because it’s snow everywhere. It’s Vermont, you know, she’s got like the sock over the cast. It’s the old fashioned cast. Yeah, it’s like that big one.

I’m like, yeah, this is crazy. But she ends up like going with him to Montpelier to like go shopping. And Janet Daly cannot wait to tell you the three things she knows about Montpelier. It’s wild. And, you know, she’s like she ends up enjoying it. They end up, you know, connecting. And she’s like, he’s like, I love you. She’s like, I care about you, but I, you know, divorce. Yeah, divorce. And he’s like, don’t worry, you’ll probably die a childbirth. Yeah, that’s true.

You know, I mean, like you got a ticking clock bitch. It doesn’t really matter. Yeah.

So, you know, it’s very much back and forth on that. She does go and like decide to buy Holly and get her. Yeah, Holly, a gift and gets her some books. Gets Tagg something gets kind of into the holiday spirit a little bit more.

And I think it’s because she gets to see like a functional family celebrating the holidays versus it being used as a like Political tactics and who buys somebody the best you just like Stockholmed because they will not let her not celebrate her It’s all into it, but she’s inviting people over for things So she goes to the little Christmas pageant that Holly’s in Holly is a sheep And that’s where Holly tells her one of her little friends that that’s her mom and you know That’s what they have the third act breakup and this has actually happened after there’s been some pretty heavy petting Yes, yeah, you know so like she was kind of in it to win it which is why she goes to the Christmas pageant But then like yeah, I mean I think that is actually a reasonable Yes, yeah, I can be like whoa, whoa, whoa this kid I didn’t realize how invested this kid is in this relationship, which is like I’ve known you for three days Yeah, you know she obviously is hurt a lot more by having no mom then well They do give us a good little timeline with the leg So because the leg she has to wear that cast for five weeks and we do see her like arrive And then we see the cast come off but the cast comes up a little early, so I guess maybe we’ve been there for Yeah, I guess this is an advent book maybe yeah, I think so and so you know they break up for a little bit and then tag is like I love you. I love you. I’ve you know, I’m gonna open my law office here You can be my executive assistant. I got a job ready made for you cuz she’s like But then you know she kind of like we have that Christmas Day, you know proposal and There’s a box and it’s like a little box inside a box and yeah And you know what happens is he has gotten Holly a dog for Christmas And she’s like come over and play with the puppy So she comes over and that’s when she gets the the he does do it with just the two of them Yes, yeah, I really hate a public proposal if two are the two people are not a hundred percent already on board Right, he doesn’t do that shit. He did it is done You know much more if I like the proposal the proposal is fine Yeah, and so they get you know they get engaged and now it’s the two of them and Holly and the dog Chris for short for Christmas. Yes.

Yeah, and So it’s one of these little short Christmas books There’s not a lot of plot just took me days and days and days and days to read it because like I just could not No, I get it. I mean, it’s not the best, but it was D. No, it was fine So let’s go to questions with it because again, it’s not a very long book No, it’s it’s extremely we big dick energy or big dick energy Tagg is a is a forceful personality who won’t let you not do Christmas Well, I was in it for tag because again this man drags a sled with some like a makeshift harness that he like jerry rigs and drags a woman a child and then a Christmas tree Back and forth all told probably like four miles. You know it was like two miles each way Yeah, and then like so one he can do that But then also that she gives it the presents of mine where he is tired at the end of it I can’t lift her back into the car. He’s like, I hope you can get you So I appreciate that but I was like this man has some endurance Well, I think because that’s here’s the thing because that’s cardio And like that’s it.

Yeah, like that is like Yes, so I was like, all right Tagg. He had very virile hair like she always writes him I think like here’s the thing the way that she writes him He’s fine as a person because all the things he says are okay. It’s that she’s always like he mocked. He did this But like yeah, yeah, that’s the thing like it’s the dialogue thing. So like it’s not even what he is saying It’s like what she says that he it’s how he says it She’s trying to write him as more one of those hard ass romance guys when he’s actually like a kind of sweetheart

He’s a he’s like a cinnamon roll. Yeah, that’s just like hey you want to come over and it’s like hey You want to bring popcorn? You know, it’s like but she makes it like he’s like you want to come string popcorn. Oh He mocked he’s that laughing Lee like It’s written very yes, it’s very straight. That’s why I didn’t I think maybe because like if you took out how she wrote Like how he delivers lines everything in it is fine because if you’re like instead of he mocked you be like hey Would you like to come like go on a sled with us? He asked yes Like I think that would make all the difference, but it’s like he Sardinically grinned With his acidic tongue like you want to come have some marshmallows Also, okay, so this is 1982 so he’s always making cracks about like oh, I’m surprised She’s a secretary at the firm in Manhattan I’m surprised your boss let you go with your broken leg because you must be easy to catch running around And then he makes a joke It’s weird again. It’s like he makes some joke about she’s like where at one point She’s like where’s my crotch and he’s like oh, I hit it so you could run away and she’s like I believe you know I can she’s like excuse me. He has the nerve But he’s like it’s like it’s right in her eye line like right underneath. He’s like it’s right there How she It’s how she right I think if like he’s fine as a part all of his actions everything are fine It’s just the way that she writes.

She doesn’t know how to write a nice one. No, it’s like we gotta make him a Deliver things as a dick. Yeah.

All right. Would you talk shit with her about the heroin? I like her actually I know that you’re thought that she was so tied up at this Christmas thing, but I liked her you like I was just like I can’t with like you she’s one of those people that you would be like Hey, what are you doing for the holidays and she would give you a big-ass tirade?

I was like, I just asked you a question. I like I just asked a question I didn’t need to hear your maybe if you’re constantly not letting her say no to your like Christmas like intense Christmas activities I don’t know how many Christmas things do you do in a month? I mean like how many actual like like sing-alongs and and shopping parties and yeah But he also like one of the things that she said like here’s the thing she Comes up and says I want to go on a sleigh ride. That is her I want to go on a sleigh ride is what Leslie says to this man and he makes it happen for her Well, I’m sure she didn’t mean it because she didn’t think he was gonna show up at the slave Of course he did see like you’re mad about these things that are like her Centered like you know and again if she’s this is like she could have shut it down if she wanted to she could have been like No, I’m fine. I don’t do this at all like but she’s like, okay. I’ll come over okay I’ll do this cuz she is she wants this and she wants that man from no she wants that man from the job Even though he said sardonicly. Yes, even though he said sardonicly, you know, so yeah, it’s She was just a little bit like for me You know one of those that just doesn’t hit it with me that it like her Like I I didn’t I have not liked any of honestly these Jenna daily characters, but I liked her just fine as like, you know It’s fine. Yeah, okay back to elder bitch. No, I mean we have an aunt there Like they never talk about anything Hey tag tag tag tag yeah, that’s all they talk about like to she had a woman friend Yeah, when the phone back in Manhattan something.

Yeah. Yeah, that would have been nice I mean, it’s a really short book But I mean some of these short books can make room for that and this one didn’t really bother so yeah When it comes to consent is this look more Robin thick or Marvin Gaye? No, okay, what he does when they are there’s this like pretty sexy scene in front of the firelight, right? And yeah, like he’s got her sweater off He’s got her canvas all off and she’s like wait now stop and she he’s like we mean he’s an asshole about it I did not like that at all. No, I didn’t like that. It was all like well, you know We’ve had a lot of these words like either we’re gonna have sex or we’re gonna not do anything It’s like you just fool around, you know, yes I don’t get like the whole but she says very clearly exactly what you’re supposed to do like yeah stop I don’t want to do this.

I’m not sure if I’m ready for this and I’m not sure if this is what I want to do at all And he makes her feel like shit. Yeah, he is a real dick on that. I did not care for that. Yeah, I agree Okay, how badly are you judging your mom off reading this book? This would have been one that she had. Oh, yeah Yeah, these things to kind of things were just everywhere when I was a kid like yeah little shitty Christmas book was everywhere But I’m not everywhere like five places. So she definitely would have read it. Um, it’s fine.

Speaker 1: It’s fine Okay Would Florida ban it absolutely not cuz nobody in this is very heteronormative well except that The thing is it feels so fucking 80s. Yeah, it is so 80s in like that bad way all these boss secretary jokes Yeah, all this like a single man, you know how to cook a thing You know Florida would promote it for sure seems to have actually stabbed himself with a needle a couple times So that he can tell her he doesn’t know how to string popcorn to make her come over for more bug and Christmas shit Florida would love this shit It’s extremely And I mean that whole boss secretary stops to yeah, and he thinks he’s doing an awesome He’s like you’re not gonna believe what I have to show you and he takes her into slightly rundown needs renovations building He’s like this is gonna be my new office. This could be your secretary office. What do you think and she’s like I have a job Yeah, what like what’s the 401k like asshole like what’s the I’d be like yeah, what are you gonna pay me? Okay, you’re not leaving the house looking like that.

We don’t really get we get some sweaters. There’s some good sweaters We get sweaters. There are a lot of good sweaters. He’s got good sweaters. She’s got some sweaters Yeah, yeah, there is some sweater action.

It’s very funny that he can’t figure out a camisole Which to me is easier to get into than a bra. Yes. Yeah. Yeah, we’ve got a parka. She’s got a faux fur jacket We do know that Manhattan right to the city girl.

Yes We were like purple prose. Yes, I You know, it’s you would think there’d be more in this book, but I did find one that I thought was very funny Her fingers curled into the virile thickness of his hair in a response. She was helpless to deny He has she uses virile thickness of his hair a lot because I think there’s another dog ear page Really where she talks about his virile thick hair and I don’t get it. It’s very strange like how is your hair?

Virily thick like what kind of shampoo is that? Oh well it’s Breck obviously. Yeah, it’s gotta be there is another line I mean that paragraph that I just saw this is the kind of thing they’re always mash And I it’s supposed to be hot kissing but it just feels like they’re mashing their faces together When she finally dragged her lips from the moistness of his she lowered her head in a shakery reaction That doesn’t seem hot to me. No. No, I want to do that.

No one do that Would your 12 year old self have dog-eared any pages? Yes. Yeah, there’s some good tiddy action Yeah, yeah What pairs nicely with a dumpster fire while they’re drinking they drink it Cocoa all the time so maybe some spike I’ll drop her up a cocoa.

Yeah, I would like one of those really fancy lines with like a peppermint Yeah, yeah, because he is the king of making hot cocoa. Yeah. Yeah, he does it from his own recipe and yes He’s got his like can’t believe it.

This is a level of cooking. She’s never imagined a man could do Yeah, like that he can be oh my god. He can buy the her she’s powdered I know like hiding hide the pack. Yeah, but like okay, it’s miss motherfucker. All right, so what? Also, should a human being in the 21st century this book? No.

No, it’s it’s Dumb, yeah, it’s just yeah, there’s better Christmas books. Yeah Like I don’t usually even like a Christmas book that much again Even the one where the manager of the people off the cliff is better. This one is just fine It was like it was okay. It was a thing to do with your time back before we had Netflix exactly All right, so you can find us at bodice tipplers calm Check out our revamped website. We’ve had it going on now for a few months It’s for your ease of listening and viewing and joining our patreon You can find us at Instagram but bodice tipplers Facebook bodice tipplers you can find us at blue sky and Yeah, everybody have a holly jolly Christmas I hope that no one kidnaps you and puts you on a slide and drags you around only if I previously requested it